I'm officially 23rd... alhamdulillah (even though the post is already 3 days late =p )
it's nothing to be proud of being 23rd. since i haven't become someone like Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh, who opened Constantinople in such a young age (if i'm not mistaken 23 years old). because, right now, i'm just a future teacher (if i pass my SPP interview next week). just a future, not a teacher yet.. so really, i am nothing to boost for being 23 =P
but actually, it's worth grateful to Allah S.W.T for giving me a chance to live this life until 23 years (and 4 days) and for blessing me with all the nikmats that i never asked for.
being 23rd reminded me of all the ups and downs that i went through in life. 2010, nothing to be proud of. i lost one of my loved ones. someone who was and (will always be) dear to my heart and soul, Mek.
2010, i also lost someone who really took care of me since i was born even though i have no close blood relation to her, Long. this year was the year of tears and hardships.
my life is different from the one i had before i flew to Australia. Raya Puasa was dull without Mek. No more Mek's friends came over to the house to 'beraya' together. Ma refused to go and visit neighbours. Adik- adik and me just went to only one house for the ziarah. seriously, it was totally different. not 'meriah' at all. Raya Haji, Ayah (mek's husband) planned to get married again. with someone younger than Ma. But, it was called off for few illogical reasons. and Raya Haji, there's no Qurban. I mean, my family will not buy any bahagian of the lembu and we will not be eating the fresh meat, perut, limpa and so on. which last years, every year was so 'meriah' and they never missed the Qurban.
I miss Mek so much and i always hope that i will have someone in future who can treat me like Mek did; cooked me my favourite dishes, spent time to tell me sejarah keluarga, nagged at me when i didn't call for quite some time, slept with me, listened to my rumblings, adviced me, told me to be patient and so on. Oh Allah, i really miss her big time.
but, Thanks to Allah for setting my path that way. You still give me chance to be with my other family members. Can't imagine if You take them all at the same time. at least, now, i'm more open and honest with my mum and we are closer compared to before. (^_^)
Thanks Allah for reminding me that living in this world, is not forever. It's just a stop. for a while. to get as many bekalan as we can and bring them to the final destination, akhirat. life and death are meant to be the tests for us. as clearly stated in the quran
"Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the domination; and He is Able to do all things. Who has created death and life that He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft- Forgiving." (67:2)
yes, life and death, so that He can determine, which of us is the best in deed.
so, being 23rd, i am closer to death, to the extend that i'm super close to becoming a corpse rather than becoming a teacher.
Thanks Allah for still choosing me to be in this path, it's been two years and definitely, being an "ukhti" in Malaysia is harder compared to in Australia =)
and Thanks Allah for sending me great sahabiah who always be with me ups and downs. Love you fillah, babes!!