..Ramadhan Kareem..

Happy fasting, peeps!

May Allah accept your ibadah and mine..

Let's seek forgiveness from Him

Let's put efforts to get Lailatul Qadar

Let's do good deeds

My resolution for this Ramadhan:

1. to wake up every morning for sahur and Qiyam. inshaAllah

what's yours?

..murder of english language...

sounds serious?????

let's see if you can still put on your stern face after reading this...

something that i copy pasted from fb. hurmmm, it's funny but yeahhh, it's true.. 

" adakah salah teacher mengajar? atau salah mereka2 yg ponteng kelas or bercakap mse teacher mengajar?? "

but, i blame the language.. =P

...to do or not to do...

I start to have Saturday and Sunday blues.. hah, what?? ade ke? 

yes, ade. maybe i'm the one who dislike weekends, at least since these latest three, four weeks. 

i easily feel bored,staying at home as much as i feel bored driving extra miles. so what to do?

i think i do need something to occupy this free time..

i love reading and i do read, but i am easily distracted. my reading span can live up to 30 minutes the max. so, 30 minutes of 24 hours, it is too little time spent.  

i wish my life was as busy as i lived in brisbane. sampaikan takde masa nak bernafas. (ok, exxagerate sangat!!) 

and last week, i thought of having kids or big kids a.k.a secondary school students at home during weekends. tutor them some mat salleh language, turn them into grammar nazi, and whatnots. but i do take things into consideration.

what if the next weeks i became a lazy bum and i wanted to sleep all day during weekends? 

what if there was no students?

what if i got married and i wanted to spend my time with my hubby and my students wanted me still? 

what if the parents didn't have money to pay for the fee?

what if they didn't understand me teaching?

what if, what if, what if....

okay, that's so me, kan? for those who know me lahhhh..

negative thoughts always come first.. and what ifs come next.. =P

yeah, i'm having WW3 inside me right now. 

the "do it" battalion versus the "what ifs" battalion. 

a very fiery one. hope i don't die that soon.  =P

i'm still weighing the options i have.

"do it" means i'll have my free time occupied and some money saved in piggy bank for abroad tour or getting married. =P

"do it" also means i get to help some poor and weak as well as the silver spoon kids who mess up with their english subject (we have them here too, don't misjudge kampung tebong tauuu)  

"English is more than just the universal language of diplomacy, business, science and technology. It opens the door to more job and university opportunities, career advancements and increased earning power — as much as 50%, according to the World Bank." 

(pehh, siap quote lagi tu, dh macam assignment la pulak =P)

"do it" also mean extra commitment, extra love and extra care need to be provided.  

haish, do you find me being indecisive? please don't pity me. i live my 24 years with that =P

ok. end of note.. 

i have to ask Allah what is His plan on this ^_^

...itchiness...

another thing that made this holiday different unique.....

i got

itchy rashes resided on my both palms and soles...

and 

i haven't stopped scratching since last friday... huhuhu..

Allah, i miss the time without these redness on my body..

i've learnt my lesson. no more dried shrimp in my meal.

=(

..holiday, don't go!!..

holidays were good, despite of the boring parts.

• i attended friends' weddings
• i attended relative's weddings
• i baked apam polka dot and banana cake
• i marked pps' exam papers
• i drove ma anywhere she wanted to go almost everyday
• i read
• i cooked
• i took naps

..and where is the not-so-boring part again???

yes, same old routines when i'm back home..

should i change the routine soon??

i feel surreal. 

...jealousy..

hmmm, i think it would be wonderful to blog about our daily life, right? like my favourite bloggers who i love to silently read (read: silent reader) their blogs. 

I've been hoping (and trying) to blog about what i do/feel every single day/hour/minute/second, as much as i live my life everyday. because, i want to remember every bits and pieces of my life, how i lead the days, am i okay with this and that, how i go through every thick and thins that come by, how i manage shameful events in my life.. ooh really, how i wish!!

but, i just can't..

uh uh...

i guess, Dr Fadzilah Kamsah really said the truth. 

November babies are secretive... =P 

....dreaming memang best!! hehe...

I have been so excited reading articles, stories about marriage, wedding, solemnization, husbands and wives. Err, I mean, I do feel excited about this but it doesn't mean it's coming soon or real soon (tapi, kalau happen soon pun ape salahnya kan? =P )

well, suddenly it comes to my mind of how i want my big day to be. is it going to be lavish or is it just, sederhana2 je?

to be honest, i am into the latter. i want a really moderate event, i mean a really really really moderate and simple one.

i don't want a majlis pertunangan, i don't want sanding-sanding beriya, i don't want pre-wed photoshoot. there are lots of events i want to skip. simple person, am i?

What i want is the blessed akad nikah. that's all. and of course, the du'as from those coming to our reception.
(^_^)

i even think of how i want the outfits to be.. haha..

for the akad nikah, it's enough if i wear simple baju kurung with moderate lace so that i can wear over and over again and yes, i'm also thinking of wearing t-shirt and jeans (haha, okay, abaikan!! dah start mengarut =P)

actually i have one design in mind, at the moment.  it's simple but kinda sweet if you could imagine. hehe. i wish to post the picture here, but i'm afraid i don't get the permission from tuan punya badan.
so, let it be l ek?. at least, i have some ideas in my mind if it was to happen.

and the kenduri comes right after the akad nikah, maybe wearing the same baju or change it to another one, slightly more grand but still in simple but sweet theme.

make up? - i don't know how to touch up my own face, so would need some helps from my housemate who loves drawing someone else's face =P but, definitely, i don't want pondan or hire a mak andam to do so. i want to be as natural as possible. btw, the beauty is not for everyone to enjoy. it's just for my dear husband.

hantaran? does not need to give sampai 9 or 11, it's enough if i can have 3 dulang. a car key (brand new and fully paid car), a key for fully- furnished house (fully paid and xde hutang2), and a quran. hahaha okay2, just kidding, if i were to marry a dato' yang really kaya raya, maybe i'll ask those but i don't think any dato' wants me. haha, so, berpijak di bumi nyata, i don't mind what the guy gives me as long as ianya tak menyusahkan pihak dia. (^_^)


that's all.. simple right? i don't know how the real majlis will be, but at least, this is how i want it to happen (if and only if, i am THE ONLY ONE who has the control =P)


p/s: this post is just my dream. i would like to see it happen, and if not, which part it doesn't meet. (^_^)

.......

should i be NIKON D4?

only certain, selected people and those who can afford, can get it and the others can just look and dream?


*sentap tibe2 - adehh*

...jealousy...

br lepas stalk blog someone..

and setiap kali bace blog dia, i was like "indah sih hidup dia. why don't mine?"

in short, she has everything i wanted (ok lah still want, but besar kemungkinan, tak mungkin perlu want lagi) *nangis sekarang*

she's a good writer as she can write her life beautifully (or, her life is indeed beautiful!)

haish, i wish, i wish, i wish...

or maybe i should count my blessings more and be grateful with what i have, so Allah gives me more, more and more??? 

yeah, i should..

...seminar, seminar dan seminar lagi...

today's event??

kena pergi seminar for Ketua Panitia Kajian Tempatan. hampeh x rasanye? I teach English and Science and of course I don't teach Kajian Tempatan. but, dengan "rasa hormat"nya, I am given the post as Ketua Panitia Kajian Tempatan. How could i lead the panitia if i don't teach the subject? (btw, i don't even ask for extra burden to teach KT. teaching english and science pun more than enough) 

tomorrow??

supposed to attend another one day seminar (from 8.00 am - 2.00 pm) regarding Sivik dan Kewarganegaraan. pulak dahhhhhh.. I don't even the Ketua Panitia nor the teacher who teaches SIvik dan Kewarganegaraan.

Yes, in other word, 

Sume keje dan kursus yang tak best, sume pegi lambak kat Izyan.. Nice huh???

iyelah, nanti bagi lah sume kursus2 xbest dan sesi "buka telinga" kat teacher izyan ye??? dia memang sukeeeee sangat..

p/s: saje membebel kat sini.. agak-agak, kalau i membebel kat sekolah macam ni, i jugak yang tak leh cari makan.

=P

...Pelangi Senja...

perggghhhhh, tajuk xleh blah weh!! thinking of writing a novel with this title.. agak-agak laku x??

=P

*angan-angan memang tak salah*

Lately, memang tak de selera bile tengok nasi (chewahhhhh, demand) 

seriously. apetah lagi bila bawah saji tu hanya ade lauk ikan (erkkkk, memang demanding)

so, this evening (about 6 o'clock),

I shot to Tampin

and 

this was what i got for my late lunch and early dinner =)

burppppp, alhamdulillah (xsopan sendawa dalam blog =P)

 BEFORE

featuring : Seafood Lasagna, Oriental Chicken Wings and Ice Lemon Tea 

(and yes, model sampingan - sos cili Life dan buku SOLUSI)

 AFTER

(abaikan tulang ayam seketul tu =P)

*.it has been long since i could finish all the food alone like today. big appetite indeed.* 

on the way back,

- pelangi senja -

adik- adik, don't try this at home

[amik gambar sambil drive, hanya drivers with lesen P (as in PRO) je boleh amik =P ]

this weekend is empty without TP

but, I'm trying hard to make the days worth living

Thanks Allah 

Sayang sama Allah sangat-sangat

...different...

Today, I appeared different at school - err, I mean, the way I dressed.. I wore black abaya, black shawl, black handbag, black shoes - in short, I've become a woman in black...

pupils here and there kept asking 

"teacher baru balik mekah ek??" , "mana cenderahati untuk saya?" which brought smiles to my face..

"ameen" (dalam hati - semoga mampu menjejakkan kaki ke tanah suci before i hold my last breath)

but, the truth is, i wore those was to match with the scarf. it's a gift from someone. just to tell her that i appreciate her gift and the shawl is really nice. 

Love the shawl

thanks =)

~~~vain~~~~

(eh, sejak bila suke letak gambar sendiri dalam blog ni??)

abaikan ke-vain-an ini

...wordless wednesday...

oh, semua  orang- orang tertentu di sekolah sangat sebok berbicara tentang eg-tukar ye! oh, those who's not in teaching (in school) line, eg tukar is the online form that teachers have to fill in order to apply for transfer. 

sebok je nak tukar- tukar sekolah, nak tukar jugak lah. untung- untung dapat balik kelate.. hehehe.. oppss, i can't say it loudly la nanti ada yang merajuk =P 

owh, cerita pasal pindah- pindah sekolah ni, tadi dah kena 'ceramah professionalisme' dah dengan the headmaster (yang dah terlepas peluang nak jadi mentua i =P).. mana nye tak kena ceramah, diri sendiri seeeboooookkkkkk sangat cakap nak pindah sekolah... huhuhuhu.... serve me right!

after blablabla with Tuan Haji (the headmaster - yang dah terlepas peluang nak jadi mentua i) last word he said/ advised 

"kalau nak pindah pun, after 4-5 years ye!" 

huhuhu, baiklah Tuan Haji.. Saya yang Menurut Perintah (tapi dalam hati macam tak rela)

p/s: kalau lagi 4-5 tahun nak jadi housewife boleh??? pehhh, dream on la mekye. belum tentu kawin ngan datuk Dato' yang Kaya (bukan tua lagi bercucu) pun  =P


wednesday should be wordless - since it's wordy now - dah jadi mengarut ke mana- mana ntah

...Batrisya...

I've never once mentioned in this blog that i'm living with a baby, right? Oh, how can I forget to blog about this beautiful baby? 

Well, it's definitely NOT my baby (Please don't speculate!). She is my housemate's first baby. I've been living with them (my two housemates - who are siblings) since I lived in Malacca. The baby appeared last eight months, so she is 8 months old now. I'm as excited as the mother. hehehe (^_^). and yes, the baby is such a dear. 

Every time i came back home from school and saw this baby smiling, all the tiredness went away.. Something to be grateful, right? 

By the way, she's very active now. Crawling here and there, trying to lift everything she sees, suke sangat pergi tempat2 yang berwayar and one of her favourite places is, my messy room. Bak kata orang, pantang buka pintu.. Every time she sees the door open, she will quickly crawl as fast as she can. Maybe she is very curious ape lah yang best sangat dalam bilik auntie ni sampai aunties sukeeeee sangat lepak dalam bilik dia =P since she always sees me going in and out of the room every single day. pantang i open the door, kalau dia tengah breastfeed, rela stop for a while and throw a big smile at me.

eh, not only when i open the door, every time i pass her by, she would do the same.. oh, how adorable!! I feel like I have a little fan here (perasan). =P 

 it's my routine every morning before going to school  to carry her outside

(^__^)

budak ini dah jadi sangat berat sampai lenguh tangan nak dukung =P

But, having to experience this life every single day, I feel i'm sooooooooooo lacking if I were to get married and planning to have a child right after. Lacking of patience! Seriously if this baby threw tantrums, crying for things she couldn't do or take, or feel uncomfortable, I can't stand. Plus, I'm not ready to give up my beautiful sleeps (~_~'). You may think I'm childish and immature but I do take things into consideration especially when I start thinking of having a family. 

I admit I do feel jealous with my friends who are happily married and raising children (one of them just gave birth to the third son!!) to the extend if I feel it, I want to call Abah to marry me. But on the other side, living with a baby currently and see how my housemate is struggling with the baby, make me rethink. It may be nice to have the junior version of me but, to do all those sacrifices (read: sleep and the 'ME' time), I'm not ready. 

This is what I feel now, it may change in another minute but I blog this so I can remember that I once have this feeling at the age of 24. *single syndrome* 

I love kids, definitely and how amazing their presence are in times I feel down and sad. But, yeah, as I said, to have my own in this one or two years, I may reconsider.. (plus, the marriage doesn't seem to happen in near future) 

But, alhamdulillah I'm contented with my life now -with this little cutie - she seems to brighten my dull days.

(^_____^)

video si cenonet ni bila berjaya conquer bilik auntie.. adik, adik.. *sambil geleng2 kepala*

p/s: ....and I promised myself to live my single life to the fullest before the day Allah puts me other responsibilities (towards a husband and later, the children) inshaAllah..

...sunset...

in the car...

TP   :   Esok pagi nak cari sunset. tak kire.... dah lama xtengok sunset..
I      :   Sunset? (muka takleh blah - ala2 tak percaya)
TP   :   Ha'ah, sunset... (dengan keyakinan yang tinggi)
I      :   Sunset ade ek pagi-pagi?
TP   :   eh, sunrise (sambil senyum macam kambeng =P)
I      :   *facepalm* dalam ati cakap "planet mane la dia ni duduk ade sunset di pagi hari" 

just a laughable conversation to start this great long weekend

=P


p/s: public holiday for Malacca on Monday since 16/4 is the anniversary of Malacca as Historical City

*biggest grin*

(^___________^)

..random...

...oh malam ni rasanye serba tak kena...

1. i think i have to lose weight a bit (sepatutnye) but i want to lose MORE... dah jatuh tahap compulsory ni. i don't feel good with this body shape.. (mood: trase pendek and gemuk)

2. I really need the hair cut. Can't stand the hot weather and this stuffy room.. but, where can i find female hairdresser in tampin or gemencheh? huhu... indian barber ramai lerrrr..

...jealousy...

.......i hope my life is way better...

~~~~jealousy alert ~~~~

but, wait..

Rasulullah said,

“Lihatlah orang yang lebih bawah daripada kamu, jangan melihat orang yang tinggi daripada kamu, kerana dengan demikian kamu tidak akan lupa segala nikmat Allah kepadamu.” (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

reflection:

i think i should be grateful of what i have now

...L>A>R>I...

i feel uneasy..

kalau lah hidup ni boleh di 'reset' atau di 'format'........

aku mahu lari....... 

...........jauh- jauh

...future...

 i'm afraid of my FUTURE

pic taken here

(T_T)

Ya Allah, 

truly i don't have any idea what you are planning and why you are putting me in this situation. 

but, 

i know You know 

that 

i trust You

...this is what we call 'life'...

when you are young, you will talk about studies with your teacher,

when you are older (a bit), you will talk about marriage and "real life" with your teacher... 

maybe later you will talk about your children, grandchildren and great children - if and only if - you and your teacher are both alive!

dah pandai buat screen capture... satu kejayaan! yahoooooo!!!! hehehe

p/s: ade sape2 nak bagi saya "hadiah" tu??  =P