Assalamualaikum wbt...
Alhamdulillah, sampai juga ke blog ni. tadi dah tersesat- sesat.. seriously, google plus makes me confused. sebab i currently have 2 active email addresses, one is the old one tahap2 dah boleh masuk arkib negara and another one is for more serious matters. ala - ala email rasmi la kan. yelah, kau agak nak tulis ke email address mcyan_cg@yahoo.com kat ruangan email rasmi. hahaha. memang tak la kan..
Actually nak blog something yang terfikir tadi, tapi sebab bengang sangat dengan google yang beratus kali sign in pun tak masuk2, terus lupa nak tulis apa. hahaha. apekah? nampak tak kat situ si penulis ni dah semakin tua... =P
rindunya nak menulis semula macam zaman remaja2 dulu. tapi hakikatnya, macam dah tak mampu. sebab kerja dah menimbun, kalau menulis ni mengarut2 kat sini, it means that, adalah baju yang tak berlipat. seriously respect lah mak2 yang buat 2,3 kerja tapi still able to maintain household. because, i am here ni, rasa macam dah tonggang terbalik. oh my, how i miss my carefree and single life... gedikkan? memang tak tahu bersyukur, masa single gedik nak kawen, dah kawen gedik nak anak, dah ada anak, gedik nak single balik. hahahaha. memang tak bersyukur langsung. okay2, bersyukur lah.syukur dengan segala nikmat yang Allah bagi up until now. alhamdulillah hi rabbil al alaminnn...
Nuha turns 15 months tomorrow. cepatkan masa berlalu. dan soalan2 seperti bila Nuha nak dapat adik dah timbul. hahaha. sabau ler makcik2. and jawapan standard, tunggu Nuha lagi besar. sekarang ni makin banyak akal, tak khatam lagi perangai yang sorang ni. tunggu la dulu...
well, honestly, that is not what i truly feel, i mean, about having another baby alasannya bukan sebab Nuha. tapi sebenarnya, lebih kepada diri sendiri. i dont know how others do, tapi i kinda withdraw from being wife. hidup sehari2 ni, sejak ada Nuha, i am more of being a mom rather than a wife. sometimes, rasa sedih jugak, tapi tak tahu macam mana nak luahkan and to whom. before ada Nuha, i promised myself to love and care of my husband more than i love and care of my baby, tapi it's other way round. i dont feel like i am married to someone. entah, tak tahu kenapa. i wonder how moms outside can still be a very loving wife despite of anak2 yang ramai dan semakin bertambah, because i am not feeling it. should i be worried? jealous okay tengok mak2 yang still manja2 dengan husband walaupun anak2 dah ramai.
yes, i think i should muhasabah myself more kan? well, i hope everything will be okay soon..
okay, mak dah ngantuk. nite2..